Post Christmas Blues

Today was such a shitty day. It started off with me trying to wake up at 6am to study just a little bit more before my lesson at 9am, finally managed to wake up at 7.30. Mum cancelled my second lesson, and that was so nice of her cause I immediately went back to sleep. So it's 9am and I've got to concentrate on chemistry for two hours, but it's too early and I'm too tired and aaaah my head hurts so much. Chemistry lesson DONE and now maths. Seriously, fucking Maths. Exam thingy tomorrow on everything we've learned till now. Is it that difficult, you may ask,and the answer is yes. But it's been two days now and I feel sick,my stomach makes weird noises and it hurts all the time. And don't forget the headache(at least he doesn't forget me)! And then all I could do is watch youtube videos that would make me feel better-or not- just to take my mind off things. And then I finished Nausicaä of the valley of the wind which was pretty nice. And I listened to Glen Hansard and The Swell Season and rebloged pictures of cats on tumblr which is always nice and fun, but not productive and helpful. And the pain is still there god dammit. I don't know what I'm going to write tomorrow, I feel like I don't know nothing, I just keep repeating myself over and over again about feeling ill. I don't want to feel ill. I don't want to take those exams. I just want to stay in and sleep and read books. I don't want this year to be over cause when I look back, nothing really happened and I can't live knowing that I've wasted 17 years of my life doing nothing.
Make something happen, PLEASE.

Blogging is a thing that I used to do,isn't it?

How close am I to losing you?

all my friends are dead - pj liguori

I TOTALLY FORGOT TO STUDY TODAY

...and i'm not even kidding. I know there's something wrong with that sentence, it doesn't make sense, but still, it's true. For the first time, it was not procrastination, nope, i just forgot to study. It just totally slipped my mind. Studying? Not important, mate, not important. Who invented studying anyway?

By the way: today we were supposed to go on an excursion, but i didn't go to study instead. So i basically did most of the stuff i had to do during the morning. It's just such a surprise I spent such a nice evening of music and videos and awesome blog reading.

Here we go...

Alright, it's me complaining once again. This is going to be a long post and if you're not prepared to read my comments on people being awful, just don't read this.
First of all, there are boys my age(17-18) that obviously don't have brains in their heads. They lack common sense, and yes it's common sense that if you throw chalk pieces to some of your classmates you might actually hit other people too. And yes my eyebrow is THAT close to my eye. And yes, you might have hit me by accident, but I could have lost my eye just by accident you fool. So fuck off, cause even if you admitted you can't live without causing problems to the class, you'll have to breathe the same air with me 6 hours per day for the rest of the year. And trust me, I want both my eyes, it's not that I change them every now and then. And no, it's not that it's the first time this has happened, it's a common phenomenon, but it's the second day in the row that I'm being hit on the face near my eyes,and I'm not the only one, and our teachers have done nothing about it. Don't piss me off mate.
Second thing that got me extremely angry today was that old man chasing that dog with his stick to hit him. Why would anyone do that? We're supposed to live in a cultured society, cultured enough to have charities and organisations that help those of our own kind, but who are we to hit animals or express any other form of not showing respect to them? They are as alive as we are,they have minds and souls. They feel things. And under the same logic, why should I respect you old man, if you don't respect a helpless-more or less-creature? You know what? A dog has the right to want to fuck your dog or whatever, perhaps you yourself may have wanted to fuck someone at least once in your stupid little life, it's not a reason to theaten him you're going to kill him. He probably does not even understand why you're doing it, since your dog is not there with you at the time, and since he's lived right there for at least two years(that I've been passing outside that exact same building). And yes I did stop and talked to him, risking getting hit-he started shouting to me for absolutely no reason,telling me I'm stupid and that I don't understand,and that what he's doing with the dog is none of my business. Which brings me to my next point, that noone else passing by cared. NOONE CARES ABOUT ANYTHING THESE DAYS. What the hell is wrong with the world we live in? Why is that noone has the courage to speak up their minds? Or is it that they don't think at all? Noone cared about the dog(he was chasing him around the block-it was ridiculous), noone cared about me and the old man, noone cared when that motorcycle hit me, noone cared about what happened with that kid at school(except for his friend that saw what happened and told him he was wrong and then the other one told him something along the lines of:what the fuck you're supposed to be my friend, asshole), noone cares about anything. It just makes me angry and sad, but mostly angry.
Tell me just one thing: WHY?

Pen pals and youtube people.

Hey everyone. Who wants to be my pen pal? Like real pen pal,pen and paper and letters and stuff. Comment on here if you do.
It's just a thing I used to do when I was younger in order to ameliorer mon français. Mais je n'aime pas parler en français, and I never felt really close with my 3 french penpals so that stopped.(My parents didn't let me have an english penpal because they all liked Harry Potter and my parents thought it was absolute shit or something, a movie with monsters and goblins and freaky things. So i guess i missed a whole great era of penpals.) But. Now that I'm older, I respect that form of writing more, so I guess it's something I want to take up again. Plus,I'll have something to wait for me in the mail. *excited*
Also, who wants to be in a youtube collab channel? I was thinking kind of fiveawesomegirls or lovehatesociety. Perhaps lovehatesociety is more of a thing I'd be interested in. Leave me comments below!(if there's actually anybody on here TT_TT)
ALRIGHT?

5/12

So today there's that chemistry exam going on. And I don't understand lots of things. Aaaand I'm probably going to fail. That's it, being positive helps, it always does. Myl myl is not here. Come back here myl myl. I need you more than Cuba does... Fuck chemistry.

Alice vs tiny drunk story.

She was there with her friends, they were sitting at their favourite table at their favourite corner of their favourite pub. She was there for her friends, as much as they all were there for her. She had already drunk a couple of beers but she was not feeling dizzy, just a little more enthusiastic with things and a little bit confused on what she was supposed to do.
She reached for his hand. He was cold; her hand was warm against his. She felt the urge to hug him so bad, hold him tight and never let go. But that was not the right thing to do; they had set their rules and that would be highly inappropriate. Not from his side of course, he was gay, he was only seeing her as his friend, it made no difference to him. But she,oh she didn't know if she could keep herself together,hold back from kissing him and looking at him in a way no one had ever looked at him before, she just didn't know and she was not sure she wanted to find out.
She drank her beer at a gulp. Man, she really needed a cigarette at the moment. She didn't smoke, neither did he, but it matter. It was just one of those moments that what you don't need at all is what you need the most.
She grabbed her empty glass, stood up, and still holding his hand she led him to that other table,to the very first spot she saw him after two years of not seeing each other. Someone yelled 'What happened? Where are you going you two?' in the background. They got no answer. Now it was just them. She lit up her cigarette and breathed in the heavy flavoured  smoke. She put one hand on his neck, leaned in and gave him a long, tender kiss with a slight taste of beer and smoke.

1st day of december

You'll never guess what happened today. First of all, myl-myl got me the BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT that was ever known to mankind-i might be exaggerating a little bit,but it's just a little,tiny bit. She got me Stories from somewhere, Pj's cd(and by Pj i mean Pj Liguori aka kickthepj) and she completely surprised me,and oh god that was so awesome. I mean, the songs and the artwork(both by Pj and Maddy) are amazing, but man, she thought of it. How did she even...? Ah, love you myl-myl. Thanks for knowing how much this means to me. :D
The second part of unexpected things includes biology. I've reached whole new levels of procrastination. I started making videos(yes that less than 30" thing on youtube) and i wanted to make another one about pj's cd. Which was totally doable cause i've got so much to talk about. But i couldn't! I just couldn't! I filmed a 20 minute thing that had nothing to do with what i wanted it to be, so screw that. And then TA DAH! Damn, I found the solution! Studying biology would so obviously take my mind off video making. So that's what I did. And now you know, i'll never get anything done,i'll just keep switching projects.
Blogging is the only thing i never procrastinate about. Hm.
Tim, thanks for your birthday wishes, honestly thank you. Even if i had a crappy day.

also

My mum claims that buying a nintendo is the silliest thing she's heard all week. She'd rather buy me a canon 550d that costs a lot, especially compared to a nintendo. But anyway. I think she means it like "I'd rather buy you that, but I'm not going to, so why don't we leave it at that?"
So yeah, colourful socks will do. Colourful socks will do.

*youtubed*

Hey! Did you see it? I'm on youtube! Ahhhh this just feels so good. I'm so damn excited.

yeah,that's a thing i'm going to do from now on.
^_^

Things you can find on the Internet

...and that should not be there.
For example, take a look at this.

This is a picture of me and my sister that I uploaded ages ago on Facebook. I didn't make this account - obviously. Whoever did that is such a moron. I honestly do not understand why anybody would do that. I've found out that this has happened to other people too, so maybe it happens automatically or something. I searched many friends' names though, and nobody else showed up. At least, 3 good people voted for "not a jerk". Eff you jerks.

Headaaache

I was going to make a blogpost but I forgot what I wanted to say. My mind is just literally not working right now, due to lots of hours in front of a computer screen and biology right after that. I want to make a video thing so bad but I'll look weird and I'll feel awkward. Aaaah. My head is such a mess.
Last week I wrote a post about weird habits and stuff, but it didn't make it up here. And I'm too bored to write it again. So here you go, you can hear the part where I mention things about me that you probably shouldn't know.
1.I can only sleep on the one side of my pillow. And only on a certain corner of it. If I just put my head in any other place of my own pillow, I'll get insomnia and lose my sleep. Is it normal?
2.I sometimes act kind of awkward towards people who kiss you on both cheeks when they see you. You know when 'hello' means hugs and kisses and stuff. I hadn't noticed until recently, when someone pointed out how I looked at them. They described my look as 'looking terribly afraid and confused', which I guess is partly true.
3.I keep biting the inside of my cheeks when i get nervous. I've read on the internet it's some kind of anxiety disorder?!
4.I obviously tend to forget things when I'm thinking of something else,I totally had a no.4 thing to say.

On a totally unrelated note, someone from the other floor(?) has decided to sing and she's giving me a headache.
Second unrelated note, PJ and Chris will be travelling around Europe, they've announced cities, not including Athens of course, and they'll be couch surfing. There will be people asking them to stay in their houses. Lucky bastards. Damn.

Just a few things I want to say to the Internetzzz

I know I'm making a big deal out of it,but Hachi has twice as many views as Grease. And 870 views is A LOT. And I want to stop it, but i don't know how. On an other note,I'm thinking of making reviews on pokemon episodes, because I've found myself really enjoying it. You know, just to keep track of things going on and pokemon names. I wish I will not be annoying anybody on here who's not interested in that kind of stuff. Plus. Weird phone calls in the middle of the night are just weird. Fact.


EDIT: Didn't know how the pages thing work, so I made another blog for pokemon. Hooray! Now seriously Alice, shut the fuck up.

-pokemon-

I never watched pokemon as a child,cause my parents didn't let me. Well,i used to watch it secretly sometimes because i loved Jessie and James, but don't tell them. Anyway, I'm off for a new start,even if this is definitely not a good time. Season 1 episode 1. Well done, I'll be the pokemon master.

Update.

I'm probably going to die one of these days, I've got so much work to do. Plus I started this art thingy and it's taking quite a long time, so yeah...
Oh the update! Hachi vs Grease:517 vs 417. Epic fail for the epic win? This is getting on my nerves.
My asthma is kind of weird these days, and I feel exhausteeeed. Almost 1am. Still sketching by the way.
I might as well be already dead.

The bluebell.

Down in the park
And the lust of the light
Among the stray dogs and families
I smell the bonfires, and
Watch the bonbs
Fireworks burst above the trees
And to pillows of white cloud, and
Another year has gone
Now it is the fifth of November
I lock the doors and swallow the key
And draw the curtains, closed forever
Forever.
--
So if you don't know Patrick Wolf, you should totally go listen to him. The bluebell. Oh, Patrick. It's been 3 and a half years. I was in love.
Guy Fawkes. Time to re-watch V for Vendetta,right?

I don't approve of Hachiko aka endless talking, so beware.

Hachiko: a dog's story, or Hachi: a dog's tale, or whatever you want to call it,is obviously a movie about a dog. I watched it earlier this year, when i was still posting about movies and stuff. I didn't write a review or anything(due to lack of time),i just posted the posters i found on the internet and the trailer. It was a nice movie, quite emotional, especially if you like dogs.
Still,it was a movie about a dog. Or, to put it nicely,it was a movie about a human-dog relationship. I get the whole thing, i love animals myself. I already said it was a nice movie,but oh well. I didn't love it. Let's say 6/10? Or 3/5?(-probably not even that much.)
During the past month, literally hundreds of people have been searching Hachiko through google. I wonder why, and more importantly,why all of them at once? The same thing happened with Grease, but that was as soon as I posted it. Now, my views are focused on that Hatchi post, and after just 2 more views it will reach Grease. And I'm like: seriously? Can anyone compare those two? The greatness of the all-time Grease with a movie about a dog? Oh god, I think I'm going to have to deal with it. Just deal with it. It's not that serious is it?
The weird thing though, is that one day the movie was on tv. Yes,during this month. Weird,right? Perhaps they're searching the global movie trends or something like that if such a thing exists.
I guess I just wanted to tell people that I think there are movies greater than this. Perhaps they belong to a different genre, but they do have more things to offer, both aesthetically and as a concept in general. Let's leave it at that. It may just be because I never really liked Richard Gere and his half closed eyes.
--
My cold -originally hot- cappuccino sucks. Oh dear. I need some chocolate. nom:3

Yeah,luck or something.

So today I had to take some photographs of places around here, landscapes, buildings etc for my sketches. I finally found half an hour that I could actually spend on it and that I didn't have to be somewhere else, grabbed my camera, and when we got out of the school the adventure began.
I had checked, of course, that my camera was charged. Not fully charged, just charged. Enough battery to work normally anyway. After all, all I needed -at least for the time being- was just a couple of photographs. As soon as I found the right spot to stand to take that first photograph, my camera said to me with an evil grin "Battery exhausted!" And obviously I didn't have the time to go back to my house,find another camera and get back to the spot,and oh you get me.
Conclusion: I may not find the lamest excuses ever for my delays/lack of homework/etc, but they sure do find me. I kid you not. And now my day is gone, I have to wait till Sunday. I'll probably borrow a good camera and go walk somewhere,somehow.

Speaking of halloween

Last night I watched with some friends 'Drag me to Hell'. Has anybody seen that film? -there might be spoilers ahead,i warn thee.
--
I think it's one of the most fake films I've ever watched. So there's this old gypsy woman, that places(?) a curse on that loan officer/main character of the film,using one of her personal belongings,a button(careful,this is important). In three days,she's going to die,unless she gives the goddamn button to somebody. And the Lamia kills the main character,end of the story.
Yep,that's that,nothing more,nothing less. Sorry if i spoiled it for you. But why the hell doesn't she get rid of the fucking button? [On the other hand,that might be the only thing she did right in this film. So yeah.] The effects are laaaame. And she kills a cat. [Okay, i admit it, i closed my eyes during that scene,i don't know if they show the dead cat or anything,but i closed them anyway when she walked towards the kitty with a knife in her hands.] Oh! And there is a talking goat! A goat that screams 'You tricked me,you black-hearted whoooore! You biiiitch!' or something along those lines. Yes,really. THIS is in a movie. Oh yeah. And the greek translation in the subtitles makes it sound even funnier. And the old gypsy woman keeps vomiting all over the place.
I suppose you understand that I cannot say I enjoyed this movie, but it did make me laugh,just by watching those miserable scenes trying to convince me it's a horror movie.
It also made me realise i make more Harry Potter references than i used to,even though i haven't watched all the movies till the end, and given the fact that i'm not a massive HP fan.
I would also like to clarify that my friend wanted to see this because of Justin Long. So we're pretty much forgiven for choosing it.
--
Overall, though, i think we had a pretty nice time,didn't we guys? Plus, if you haven't read The Compass Rose yet, read it, cause it's awesome. ^___^

Confused

It's been 2 days now i think; I've been getting a lot of views from Belgium and India, but I can't see any views on my posts. I can see however the links that brought you(however you are) here,or the key words you typed in google or something. So is this true? I'm kind of confused. You could say they are... ghost-views, and now we're on a halloween theme:P Has blogger mixed up the stats thingy? Are you really here?
Tim,last week you said something like that happened to you,right?

FF-Friday failure

Watching 'Midnight in Paris' failed;we never even got there. Watching 'An education' or 'Brothers' failed as well. We didn't even get to finish 'A home at the end of the world'. Sleep? Naaaah. Lots of homework and lessons instead. And pizza. And chinese food. The only things that happened after all. Still 2.5 days to go till monday. Lets wait.

FF aka Franz Ferdinand. Love.

It's-Thurrrrrsday-and-Friday-news!

No school on Thursday and Friday yay!^___^ Good times to come-and loads of sleep. I want to see Brothers with Natalie Portman or An education with Carey Mulligan. Haven't decided yet though. And beer's definitely on the plan!;)
-I intended to write so much more,but's past midnight and I've been really sleepy today,so...yeah.-
I've got to stop being on the internet so much -on the computer in general- because it makes my eyes hurt. They become red and oohhh they hurt so damn much.
Is that a bear on your bed?
--
That was meant to be posted yesterday,but internet was probably as tired as I was so it couldn't be uploaded. Myl myl is going to go to Costello tonight, and my mum just remembered that she wanted to ask me to go there too,plus she wouldn't count it as a concert cause it's taking place at Megaron-the Athens concert hall,where usually more 'highly cultural' events take place(as if this sentence makes sense). Anyway, she remembered it a bit too late,so im probably going to watch Midnight in Paris. Heard it's really good.

"Broken, broken, broken heart, when will you just go away?"

Your cigarette

You ignorant person dropping your lit up cigarette out of your window in the middle of the road,please remember to make sure there's nobody passing right in front of your house before dropping it, please. Somebody could have their hair burnt,their head burnt for fuck's sake,but after all it's just that it's objectively not polite and doesn't show respect neither to the environment-and thank god we already have so many morons that do not respect it,so don't be one of them- nor to me or any other passenger close by. And that's that,and it has happened two times this week already.
Not to even mention that stupid lady trying to throw her chewing gum into the bin while driving past it. Well done lady,you did it,you threw it 1.5 meters away from the bin, and 0.01 nm away from my foot. Congratulations. It was so clever of you.
--
I think my blog has turned into a hating-things-of-everyday-life-exposition-of-ideas. Don't take me wrong, sure there are greater problems in the world, but those little things just drive me crazy every time. And here's the only place where I can talk about it.
Oh and the last part on the previous post was a reference to you know who. If you know me well enough or if you spend a significant amount of time on youtube,you'll know who.
--
By the way. Biller,still havent listened to those songs,I know,I'm pretty lame. Oradon call me. Please?

Forever alone.

My phone's voice dialer totally creeps me out. It just press itself somehow and then it starts talking with that voice in the middle of the night. "Say a command." I command you to stop talking to me. Like, now. Seriously.
Then you just don't say anything,anything at all,and it thinks you've said "call" so it says "Say a name or number." Well, since you asked, ummm what about Johnny Depp or 666?
--
There's something weird going on with cars as well. Have you ever thought you saw somebody in a parked car, but weren't exactly sure, and you double-checked it and there was nobody there? Yes,that happened. And then the door opened and someone stepped out of the car. The double-checked empty car. o.o I think I literally jumped with terror when that happened. Oh I'm such a girl. GURL.
--
Bored. Off to bed(where all the...magic happens!wink wink nudge nudge). Forever alone.

On a happier note...

...Alex Kapranos replied to me on twitter,and more importantly in greek. Apparently,they're coming to Greece soon. I was so excited!^__^ Even more than the time Yannis Philippakis favourited my tweet. Probably less than the time PJ replied to me on youtube. Oh god.

Υπομονη

Και πανω που πηγαινα να χαρω για τη συναυλια των mogwai αυριο, αναβληθηκε, χωρις φυσικα να χουν πει ποτε σκοπευουν να γινει. Ε δε το λες και τυχη αυτο.
---
I don't think I am the most patient person in the world.Off to the dentist again.

Decisions

Despite what myl-myl said about it,i decided not to go to Rome,in order to save up some money and have a good rest at home. This better be good.

My neighbourhood.

You may think this is going to be a nice descriptive post,but you should know upfront that it is not. It's just my thoughts on recent events that have taken place around my neighbourhood. It may be just a coincidence but the last ten days or so can be described by just one word;death. It all started when someone who went hunting or something(weird indeed) decided it was actually a really good idea to just leave parts of the animal(intestines and stuff) on the street. Why would anyone leave that on the damn street?! First of all,it's disgusting. But even more than that, it is murder,and whoever did that,shouldn't be that proud of it. [Well now that I re-read this,I think I have already said that again on another post,having to do with my recent views on being a vegetarian,but in order to keep my thoughts coherent on this one,I don't think I should remove it afterall.] Just a few days later,there was a dead pigeon on the street. I'm not going to blabber about driving carefully and stuff,but whoever you are,so you'd better be careful,because killing by accident doesn't show anything good about yourself. And yes pigeons can be stupid,and I don't particularly like them,but I wouldn't kill them either. And parts of a spine(there's definitely something wrong with this sentence-seriously wtf). Supposing it comes from an animal(I watch too many movies,but I don't think I'd really enjoy it to live on Fleet Street next to Sweeney#2),why would a lovely housewife be throwing bloody bones out of her window? It just makes no sense. So yeah,today there was a dead cat. A dead cat. I don't think it was killed by someone, I mean there was no blood or anything. Perhaps it ate something spoilt from the piles of rubbish(in case you didn't know they are on a strike again and the whole city has turned into a rubbish dump-but then,if you're not from Greece how would you know...),yet I find the view of any dead animal,especially that of a dead cat,rather unpleasant and I felt so bad that nobody cared about it,nobody turned to look at it and think "oh,poor cat,you died all alone,but i want you to know that I've loved you even though I don't even remotely know you". My neighbourhood disappoints me. People in general disappoint me. Well,just their mentality really. Do we even deserve to be considered as humans anymore?

Exactly when you're thinking it can't get any worse...

...you realise you're wrong. Like seriously fucking wrong. Of course it can get worse and life has proved that more than once. The important question is how long can you stand it.
Today was Liarbirds' live at six dogs. I might have mentioned that on a previous post. But me and my friend were super excited about this,since we know the lead singer/guitarist,and oh you get me. It would be really cool to go.BUT no that did not happen because we didn't know how to get there. And we kept doing circles for an hour or so. And by the time we figured out where it was,I kinda had to go.
Ultimate fucking fail. I'm angry and I can't figure out how did we let this happen. Four weekends staying in,and now this. Aaaaarrrrggggh.
----
Basically I wrote this 2 days ago,but I couldn't upload it. Here you go,put this in a past tense.

Insomnia and stuff

What's the point of setting rules if you're not going to keep them anyway? Of course I'm referring to procrastination again. I had literally so many things to do and i ended up doing nothing. Again. I went to frontistirio,so that lasted 3 hours, I went to the dentist(can't remember how long that lasted,cause it was weird,perhaps awful,like all the visits to any kind of doctors are), but apart from that, I mainly did nothing. I just spent all of my time on youtube and blogspot and vyou watching all the youtubers I know answering questions and thinking how cool some of them are.
Which brings me back to my own blog. So,this is kinda weird,but recently I've noticed 2 or 3 sites that show up in my stats in the 'referring urls' section. And those sites are completely irrelevant,like gothise dot com and risingtaste dot com. I just hate it when something like this happens,cause I really want to know my stats and everything,which is of course something next to zero if you think about it,but never give up hope. Plus. The posts that have the most views are Grease,Hachiko a dog's story and Cinema paradiso.None of them has a real review or anything,but in any case,those people who have found my blog have all found it through the image search. Well I got the pictures from other people, so I don't know why mine are showing up first. Anyway. Most of those people do not even look at my blog. They just download the photo and leave. And the views to my 'real' posts are up to 10 or something. It's sad.
Did I mention my brother's surgery went fine? No,I didn't,so I'm doing it now.
Fuck its 1.35 am again. What the fuck is wrong with time.I begun writing this post 3 or 4 hours ago, that's how much procrastination we're talking about. I honestly would like to know whether it's my insomnia that keeps me watching videos and blogging,or the other way round.
I want to keep writing just to feel sleepy at some point,but this will become boring and long and...you know.
Ps.I might have said 'really' quite a lot in this post.I apologise. :]

11/10 or 12/10?

News of the week:my brother is in hospital.I'm not going to get really into this due to my lack of knowledge on the subject,you know,english medical terms and stuff. But it's not that serious after all,tomorrow he's having a surgery and next week hopefully he'll be fine.
On an other note,i keep repeating to myself i should procrastinate less. I'm procrastinating all the fucking time! Especially with studying. My grades are something more than ok,their almost perfect,BUT i don't study as i should. I mean,everybody sees me being tired and then getting a really high grade,and they think i study like a lot. You know what? I may be tired but it's just that the previous day i couldn't sleep and i was watching youtube videos till 1am. Youtube can be bloody addictive... And anyway. It's not that i don't study at all,I'm not Einstein or something to know everything just like that,but i don't study every day. Which is weird. Cause i end up admitting that i've got no free time.
I'm also procrastinating on being a youtuber myself. I've been wanting to do this for 2 or 3 years now,but i still haven't done anything. This is lame. I know how to blog,i have the camera,i think i could handle this. But i havent even tried.
My eyes are hopelessly closing. Goodnight.

I always suck at finding blog titles

So shit's been going on lately. MORE than before,as if that was possible. Basically, I haven't gone out for 3 weeks. You know,going to the cinema with friends or something like that. No,apart from having something to eat on Friday before going to my drawing class,I haven't gone out at all,due to a combination of tons of studying and bad mood. Today however i was supposed to go out like a normal person does,but no,of course not,what the hell,i did not. My mum disagreed with my choice of clothes(and i assure you there is nothing wrong with wearing a tshirt and jacket when it's pretty cold outside) and i got angry and i may have slammed the door a little bit,but hey! It's not the end of the world is it? Well,for her it was. She didn't let me go out FOR SLAMMING A FUCKING DOOR. Even though she knows how hard I'm trying for school and stuff. And i don't deserve this,and of course i did not apologise to her or anything. Cause after all i don't fucking have to. And she said things. Lots of things. And my dad came back and she continued saying stuff,and now she told me that she's never waking me up for school again. Then again waking up is the hardest thing ever for me,but i think i'll live. And i whispered alright and left the room.
By the way,since I'm talking about this,she doesn't let me be a vegetarian. Earlier this week someone in my neighbourhood had left for some reason parts of an animal on the road and there was blood all over the place. I was shocked. And today my mum wanted me to have a steak. You know what? I nearly cried all over it. Think about it. It was young and joyful,and had legs and voice for god's sake. And she made me eat it.
My head hurts. Either I had too much of that liquor i was drinking earlier,or it's just that i need sleep. It's almost 1am. Come on,sleep.
"And sleep does not come
Because sleep does not will it"

8/10

In my dream I wrote one hell of a post on here. Too bad I can't remember a word.

It's raining at last. Maybe there is a god that heard me. I love rainy days.

Camera Obscura and Nouvelle Vague sound so nice tonight. My brain is literally melted right now (don't even try to picture this-I don't even know what I'm trying to say).

This week a friend of mine (or something like that) is playing with his band called Liarbirds at s.i.x. dogs. Next week it's Mogwai. Next month it's Yann Tiersen. And I'm running out of money,how am I going to get the tickets? God I'm so excited, and I really, really want to go.

 ---

Tim I think I know what you mean.

By the way, I’m really sorry about your fish. :(

It's kinda weird,but in a good way.

You're so nice to me after all. I like you when you're being nice. See? All you gotta do is show me that you care,and that's enough. Even if I have no answers to your questions... My life is not that interesting anyway, and as much as you'd want me to have a boyfriend,I really doubt anything like that is going to happen in the near future. Cause right now, I don't need one. I just need you to be my lovely friend, and that will keep me from depression. Or not. You've got to like 'the singing tree' cause it's awesome. And PJ's awesome as well, and I swear to god I'll sing this to you someday. Probably by then I'll have a guitar,will know how to play,and will have finally moved in a cute,little house in England.
He said you're the cuttest creature on earth or something along those lines. I don't know if you've seen it, but yes, he did. And that's good,cause you are. And I think I just made another cheesy post, blabbering about you.

Laura Marling - Night Terror

Oh, a candle at my chest, and a hand on his knee.

news?

My brother is singing (or at least that's what he thinks he does) right outside my room,and I wanna sleep.
AAARRRRRRGGGH.

My classmates voted for Rome. I might start thinking of going to another place with my mum or something,  I wanna see something different. Maybe Rotterdam or Stockholm. Not that Rome is not nice and all,but 10 days in Rome during summer were enough I think. Plus I'm not at all into clubbing. And they will go to a club, that's for sure.
God I wanted to go to Prague so much.

-today is not such a good day either as it seems.-

Untitled.

Life is shit,the world is black and I wanna die.
Yes,I think this pretty much sums it all up.
Life has its ups and downs,but this week can be described by juuuust one word.HORRIBLE.I don't know why,but it just was.
And at the age of almost 17 I actually get to listen to My chemical romance,and actually find a meaning in those words.Maybe I'm getting back to when I was 14.
"Life is but a dream for the dead."

I heard she broke your heart again.

Drive.

I turned up at frontistirio an hour early,so what the hell.
I watched Drive on Saturday,and it was quite a good movie.Well of course I was actually prepared to like it just because of Ryan Gosling-and you may say that doesn't sound right and/or that I'm such a lousy fangirl of his, but I'm not,even though I spent half a day or something staring at his photos. He's just a good actor,and maybe one of my favourites.
You know what? It was amazing how little he talked. He just droooove. And kicked ass. But mostly drove. Well here comes Carey Mullighan. How lucky can she be. Never let me go,then this,then future Miss Mumford. Jealous. And the kiss,oh the kiss. Defo watch the movie. Pleaaase.
So I loved every minute of it -almost- and the soundrack was really nice,but that wasn't even the point of this post.
(At least now you have something personal and spontaneous as well.)
What I really wanted to say was that what the fuck is going on with coincidences? Cause there's definitely something going on. You don't just go out and bump onto the person you liked two years ago and he recognises you even though he didn't back then. You just don't. Or you don't get a message as soon as you touch your phone,even though nobody ever texts you. Or -and this is going a little too far- you cannot NOT be able to receive a certain person's messages for ages. And then you think he's avoiding you,but he's not,not really,and you can't bring yourself to talk to this person because let's face it,he did think of avoiding you deep inside. The whole universe is trying to tell you something and you just don't get it.

How's that for a change

...and maybe it's time to realise how sad it is that all my concerns and thoughts are 99% about school and exams.Plus,I've got no news really.
By the way:about the 5 day trip with school,Rome,Prague or Barcelona?I dare say Prague.

Περιοριστικές ενδονουκλεάσες.

Research

I'm kind of doing a research on universities of architecture all around Europe,especially England.For those of you who really do know me,i guess you already know both how much i'd love to be an architect some day,and how much i want to study and live in England. Thing is,this kind of stuff doesn't just happen! Well first of all,the minimum grades universities are asking for are not even that minimum. I can just enter university of Athens or Thessaloniki as well if I get those grades! The fees are quite huuuuge and not what I expected really. I mean, I'm no good with economy and the economic crisis information,plus I had heard that university fees where multiplied by 3 this year but I hadn't analysed it any more than that in my mind. Anyway,here's the tricky part: the portfolio. Here in Greece we don't use portfolios to enter such unis. Along with all the other lessons we take exams on pencil drawing and grammiko(i don't know how this is called in english:P) and we have to practice on those for one or two years. So we literally do NOT practice on any other form of drawing or painting,which is what is being asked in portofolios,and all we've got is whatever we do on our own. But with our educational system,we have barely enough time to breathe every once in a while,let alone paint and sketch and create stuff. So we're doomed.
I think I'm taking this a little bit too seriously,cause if you stop and think about it,there must be LOTS of other greek students in the past that wanted to study architecture in an other country. There must be some way to make it there,right? Anyway. I'm off.

Ps.I've got a tumblr and I'm falling in love with it.

No Name No. 5 - Elliott Smith

and you don't get upset about it
no not anymore
there's nothing wrong
that wasn't wrong before

Elliott Smith- The Biggest Lie

blogging.

I feel like I've been unfaithful to my blog or something.
Earlier today,I told someone to never stop writing on his blog,putting his thoughts into words for the internet world and stuff.Truth is,that is really not the point!You're not writing for others to read, you write mainly to keep your thoughts somewhere safe,like other people do in their diaries.You want to preserve who you actually were at a time.Of course,you're going to say,you knew who you were then,as you do know who you are now,but do you,really?
Personally,sometimes,when I find things I wrote in the past and just re-read them,I find that my opinion on the matter has changed,or that I just don't feel the same way anymore.The reason of the change may vary, from how that situation actually turned out,or just due to age difference,maturity and other experiences.But no matter the reason,you can actually see your own past way of thinking and just go back to the moment you wrote it aaaaall down.
I used to blog a few years ago,until I deleted my blog for a foolish reason-as I say now-but to my 15-year-old me it seemed like the worst thing that could happen at the time.And anyway,I obviously can't return back to 2008 and feel the things I felt,and just by losing the things I wrote,I kind of lose a part of myself.I never kept a diary,and this was my thing.And for the past months,that I've started this blog,I have barely written anything about me.It has almost lost that personal-kinda-feeling you get with blogs.So maybe I've got to start writing again.

Drunk

I think I just went out with the guy I like and his boyfriend(yes,flesh and bones boyfriend),but I'm too drunk to even think about it.Am I?

466-My so-called life(series) (1994)

I just like how he's always leaning. Against stuff. He leans great. - Angela

People always say how you should be yourself. Like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster or something. Like you know what it is, even. But every so often, I'll have, like, a moment when just being myself, and my life, like, right where I am, is, like, enough. - Angela

Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart. - Angela

You know how sometimes the last sentence you said, like, echoes in your brain, and it just keeps sounding stupider? And you have to say something else just to make it stop? - Angela

The worst feeling is suddenly realizing that you don't measure up, and that, in the past, when you thought you did, you were a fool. - Angela

There are so many different ways to be connected to people. There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for it. There's the people who you've known forever who know you in this way that other people can't because they've seen you change. - Angela

You think you understand, but you don't! You just analyze everything until it barely exists. - Angela

 

"Potential slut". Now where do people get an idea like that about me?  - Rayanne Graff

Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry 'till the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down; you could tell me to go to hell. I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano - Brian Krakow

Pilot part 1:)

  

I guess it's that time of the year again...

Today classes at frontistiria officially start, and this is our final year at school. No more jokes,huh?
Yesterday the results for greek universities came out. It got them more than 2 months to announce who would get into which university. This time next year, it will be us waiting for the results... And with the new system and all, things will be tough. Reaaaally tough. For as much as i've heard, the changes that are (supposedly) going to be done are not that bad. They're more like a slight approach to the english educational system, but greek academics don't seem to agree. Which means more trouble for no reason,and things getting worse and worse. This year School of architecture n.t.u.a. was closed for six months! For SIX whole months, students had no lessons AT ALL, but they took the summer exams anyway... Doesn't sound good to me!=_=
I said that the results came out,didn't I? Well,guess what. The last person to get into School of architecture of Athens had 18.95/20,which is not that bad. I mean the exams were extremely difficult this year. But,our lovely system *helps* those who have 3 or more children(their income has to be under a certain limit) by entering on an other category and giving them the possibility to get into a university of their choice with lower grades,which is very thoughtful indeed, but unfair at some points. For example,think of this year. The last person from that category to enter School of architecture of Athens had only 4.7/20. Well, well, how fair is that for everyone else?
I think I have a headache all of a sudden.
Goodmorning everyone.

472-Blue Valentine(2010)

nothing

"It has occured to me recently that for the last few years I have been in a permanent state of tiredness. I'm so tired of trying and trying and trying.I don't have anything left.I'm done.
Right now, I feel...nothing.
Nothing at all.
A huge,empty,endless nothing that I am filling up with corn chips and movies."

Nicely put Libby! It's sad that I couldn't agree more...

My manic and I

The first time you called me back I was literally just waking up. And I was listening to 'My manic and I' by Laura Marling. By the time I decided to actually open my eyes,calm down and answer the phone,you had already hang up.
The second,only minutes ago,'My manic and I' came up on shuffle on my mp3.By the time I decided to stop going up and down in my room,calm down and answer the phone,you had already hang up.
There's definitely something wrong with my timing. Or with us.

"I can't control you,I don't know you well
These are the reasons I think that you're ill.
And since last that we parted,last that I saw him
Down by the river,silent and hardened
Morning was mocking us
Blood hit the sky
I was just happy my manic and I
He didn't see me,the sun was in his eyes
And birds were singing to calm us down.
And i'm sorry young man,I cannot be your friend
I don't believe in a fairytale end
I don't keep my head up all of the time
I find it dull when my heart meets my mind
I hardly know you,I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that we're ill
I hardly know you,I think I can tell
These are the reasons I think that I'm ill..."

The Smiths-Half a person

Late night blogging...

12 07 11
00.30
So, basically, I'm writting all these on the blogger app and then I post them as soon as there is internet available. My parents have been quite serious about how having wireless internet all day long can damage our health long-term speaking,AND my neighbour put a password on his network(probably just because the half the city was using it:P naaah joking,only me,only me:P),which practically means...goodbye late night tweeting and goodbye late night blogging.It's just that these last few days I've got this weird urge to blog about things.
It's pretty much obvious I've given up on the movie reviews thing. Even though I don't watch such a huge amount of movies, I can't keep up. Being on my last high school year,probably the most important one,studying doesn't leave much time for anything,sleeping,going out,let alone blogging and reviewing movies.
True blood though, well that's a different story. If you've been watching it, you probably know about the new season, season 4. Yesterday episode 3 was aired in America,so I watched it today online. And now I have to wait another week for the next episode. But I need it, and I need it now. "I know I'm a vampire, Snookie!" How epic, Eric,my man,how epic?
My stomach is literally talking right now, I swear that if I speak out loud that weird noise will answer back to me. Well f- you,you ain't gonna get anymore food ay? My head is splitting as hell.
-
Tim-I listened to Yellowcard, last week I think. I don't know whether I liked it or not;3 years ago I certainly would.
-
Oradon, Biller- I listened to those songs,all of them. I read your comments,it's nice to know you read all these. Thanks.
-
You-Sometimes I feel like I owe you an apology. Do I? I disappeared completely, I know. I'm sorry it didn't happen the way I had imagined,or the way you wanted it to,if you ever knew what you wanted it to be,really. I loved you with all I had, I trusted you. I feel sick just by thinking how easy it was back then,when I ignored you completely and you wouldn't even accept to sit next to me on a roller coaster ride because I was "Such a fool,having second thoughts about going on that ride!" and you would gladly choose her over me and then beg me to give you my ticket to go with her somewhere else,cause she did not hesitate and therefore was more fun. I'm not blaming you,dont get me wrong; I'm not blaming anybody,I just remember this kind of things some times,and it hurts. I'm almost sure that sooner or later you'll read this and you'll understand.Happy belated birthday by the way, you know as well as I do that me and you and presents...never worked out. It's still here, and you know where to find me.
-
There is a song I listened to once or twice, I'm not gonna lie, I dont remember the band and the title, I  t h i n k  it was Slipknot. And the lyrics were something like:
"You are wrong, fucked and overrated. I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault."
Might not be exactly that, but i guess you get my point. And now it's stuck on my mind and that little voice inside my head keeps saying those lines.

Ps. Patrick Wolf's signed copy of Lupercalia arrived at last! Couldn't be happier. I mean... Patrick touched it, signed it, right?
I guess that's it for now...

Nick Cave and Neko Case - She's Not There

Oh boy. What a song. What a cover. And it might be the best ending song for True Blood. Like, REALLY.

Biology, 30STM and a little bit of literature.

11 07 11
00.30
Im studying biology right now. Well...not. I should, probably, otherwise I'll have to wake up early tomorrow to reread the whole unit. I'm a bit tired, but how can anybody say they're tired after watching a Ghost whisperer episode *and* the last twenty minutes of Spellbound,left from a previous non-studying night? Nah. Truth is,the only thing that keeps me going right now is literature. Almost any kind of book would do right now. I was always into lovestories and stuff, is it even possible to resist when it's RIGHT THERE all well written and waiting for me to read it? Absolutely fucking not. Especially if the book is written in English.
I can assure you,I'm the same person as before,no,aliens did not take me to their land and ate my brain or something. I'm that person who hadn't read a book for almost a year,and has now succeeded to read two books in 3 weeks. Hooray. The first was 'Thanks for the memories' by Cecilia Ahern and the second 'The evil seed' by Joanne Harris. They're quite good, both of them. The evil seed is just...aaaaah.A m a z i n g. It kept me interested the whole way through.
Bit of trivia:Super 8 vs. 30 seconds to mars.
I'm also the person who decided not to go to the concert that I've been blabbering about for months just because I didn't feel really well at the moment. I didn't feel like it. And I went to the cinema instead. Who would have guessed.

Nouvelle Vague - Sweet And Tender Hooligan

Everyday I tell myself that you're no longer a big part of me.

Everyday I tell myself that you're no longer a big part of me. Sometimes I really believe it, sometimes I actually think that you don't mean a god damn thing to me. Every time that thought appears I feel relieved, I feel less vulnerable, it feels like you can't affect me anymore.

I've repeated this thought so many times that I've almost made it true. At the same time it makes me so freaking scared of moving forward, cause what happens when you stop loving someone? What happens when you someday wake up and realize that this person actually doesn't mean anything to you? How can you manage to go from 1000 to 0. Cause that day will eventually come. The only thing you have left is the beautiful memories that you hopefully will carry with you your whole life. But I'm so afraid of that day coming, because I don't want it to. I don't want it to happen because I want to love. Love you.

i-want-to-love-love-you.

 Problem is,i don't exactly have those beautiful memories. Not of me, not of you, and definitely not of us.

Johnny Flynn and Laura Marling - The Water

You see this is all we need.A couple of smokes,a cup of coffee and a little bit of conversation.You and me and five bucks.

There was a time when I could still have you. In any kind of way,I could still have you. And then you built that wall between us. And I did too,but that doesn't count.
And I learnt to take joy from helping people. From helping you. And my brother started suffering. And he wrote poems. And those poems could be for you and me back then,but they can't be any more.

And now,when i watch a movie,I don't see you and me anymore. Cause that can never be,but more importantly,it never was.

And if I tell you that I hate you,it's probably because I'll always hate that part of me that loved you. And still does. You see this is all we need. A couple of smokes,a cup of coffee and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks.
I wish I was Lainie and you were Troy. Or maybe not.

Can you stop this pain?

~I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
You even spoke to me and sai:
"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very good-looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know...
cause tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they're in each other's arms..."
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes strenght to be gentle and kind~

Oh mother,I can feel the soil falling over my head.

You're a jerk,jerk,JERK,but I like the sound of your voice.

So basically,that's it. You're a jerk.

It's been so long. Not since I last saw you-for the first time I'm talking about something else. It's been so long since I had something to actually say to you. I mean the kind of thing you do when you meet friends and you say lots of different stuff? That. Doesn't. Happen. To. Me. Everytime I want to talk to you, the message list just stands there starring back at me. My mind goes blank and there is nothing in the world i have left to say to you.

Some part of me,literally wants to hurt you. Kill you perhaps. You know...you killed me first. So do me a favour and die today for just this once,since you already know i'm on my bitter days. Those days you feel that punch on the stomach and you wanna die,you plan the perfect death,but there is something missing. And on those days you love more. And hate more. And the line between the two fades,and you find yourself fighting the only person who you have ever really loved. You can almost understand the truth at those times,but you dont wanna believe it. That person does n o t care about you at all. No matter what you do.

The other part of me wants to forget you even exist. Quite harsh, I know, but trust me, we would be both so better off without all those messy situations. Your mere existence can so easily bring to my life insufferable pain. And you don't do a single thing to ease that pain.

"I could be somewhere else
I should be someone else
But you wouldn't know me if I was"

Johnny Flynn always puts my thoughts on beautiful songs. Songs you'll never listen.

Hello and then goodbye cruel world!

Felt like saying hello:P Nothing's new,and I'm just really r-e-a-l-l-y tired. I haven't done a review for ages!All I feel like is sleeping. And uploading music. Which brings me,fellow readers(yeah sure,nobody reads my stuff!:P), to the point I start complaining about youtube. I've been trying to upload some songs from Metronomy's new album "The english riviera" cause I found it amazing,but ummm youtube,or at least the recording label,keeps blocking my videos. The album came out like a month ago,but still,there are other people with some of those tracks on youtube as well. Where's the difference? Plus, I tried uploading other stuff too,like that video from Poirot's live at Passport and the sound goes off.Naaah,fuck you youtube.

Goodbye cruel world.If you never see me again,it's because "you're so beautiful it hurts to look at you."
No time for explanations.I should have said it earlier.

It's impressive how confusing things can be in my head.

It's impressive how confusing things can be in my head. I just spent three days in Meteora with my family for the easter holidays. It was pretty awesome,the place and all i mean. It was cool,really. But my sister has made my life a living hell. She's like trying to convince me she has absolutely no love for me in her. It must be some kind of jealousy about "sharing" our mum,but even if she's five years old she is able to understand that what she does is just not right. And again. People confuse me. People say the dont care   a t   a l l   and still ask your opinion. Well why ask me if you dont care? Go ask someone else whose opinion matters. Or just admit you care even *that* little. People really confuse me. My friends fall in love with each other,and its either bad timing and heartbreaks or total love. Oh,and i forgot to mention that I'm the one that learns about all this at the end. Just when i see it with my own eyes and they can't hide it anymore. Meanwhile,people do trust me with all kinds of secrets. Secrets about everything,secrets that most people know or -even better- secrets that im the first person   e v e r   to tell. Even if its not something really bad or weird or anything,i still get all the burden. I mean,of course,they didn't kill anybody,but still they had the burden and they talked to me about it so i got all the burden. And im supposed to act as if nothing happened,as if none of it matters to me. I just dont get it. Do you?

day 314

I don't have much to say really. I missed one 3day trip with my class cause I wanted so bad to have these few days off,and I had 'em. Thing is,I got my asthma once again,so I mainly stayed in. I had like SO MANY plans for these two days. However I made it to the cinema-hooray! Watched Hanna and decided from the start that it's one of the best films I have EVER watched. It was SO incredibly great. In every possible way. I can't explain really why I fell so madly in love with it,but I did. And I was not supposed to be talking about this film today,but since I started...
Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is a teenage girl. Uniquely, she has the strength, the stamina, and the smarts of a soldier; these come from being raised by her father (Eric Bana), an ex-CIA man, in the wilds of Finland. Living a life unlike any other teenager, her upbringing and training have been one and the same, all geared to making her the perfect assassin. The turning point in her adolescence is a sharp one; sent into the world by her father on a mission, Hanna journeys stealthily across Europe while eluding agents dispatched after her by a ruthless intelligence operative with secrets of her own (Cate Blanchett). As she nears her ultimate target, Hanna faces startling revelations about her existence and unexpected questions about her humanity.
Where do I start off? Storyline? Direction? Soundtrack? Screenplay? It just all comes out great. It is beautiful. Can't say it in any other way. You are watching people getting murdered indeed, but the music used for the soundtrack transforms each scene into a masterpiece. I do not exaggerate. But I am getting obsesed over the movie,and the Chemical Brothers-who would have guessed? Their music just fits right. Also wanted to point out that Ronan's performance was absolutely stunning. She acted better than in any other movie.She's great in Atonement,City of ember and Lovely bones,but this one? This is waaay better than any of those.

As I said in the beginning I intended to blog about another movie.So fyi this is #462 but I'll have to come back to #475...

day 318

Ok, I've seriously lost any touch with reality. I don't understand how can time pass so quickly. Every day is like hell most of the times,so it generally keeps dragging on forever. However, it's over two weeks now that have passed just like that! I mean is it April? I thought it was still Feb or something. I even write --/02/11 on the date. And sometimes i write --/02/10.  It's quite weird I must admit. It's like I've missed a year of my life or that I've lost me somewhere in between.
People do keep calling me weird. I'm almost always saying exactly what I'm thinking,without being too excessive of course. But they do call me weird and stuff, and still noone has told them that's what's weird indeed. :P

#476 Running with scissors
Most people I know like this movie. It's a story of how a boy was abandoned by his mother and how he, later, abandoned her. The year he'll be 14, the parents of Augusten Burroughs (1965- ) divorce, and his mother, who thinks of herself as a fine poet on the verge of fame, delivers him to the eccentric household of her psychiatrist, Dr. Finch. During that year, Augusten avoids school, keeps a journal, and practices cosmetology. His mother's mental illness worsens, he takes an older lover, he finds friendship with Finch's younger daughter, and he's the occasional recipient of gifts from an unlikely benefactor. Can he survive to come of age?(imdb)
First thing to say:I wouldn't say that was a comedy. Has some funny scenes but I believe they're there to drag on the dramatic tone of the movie and show how tragic life can be. Clearly drama for me. Truth be told, I didn't get that enthusiastic about it. It was interesting, as I like everything that has to do with mental illnesses and human mind. However,the movie wasn't that good in all its length. There where scenes kinda pointless, and some really great ones. I can't choose a favourite character, it would be most likely to choose Augusten's mum,Deirdre Burroughs(Annette Bening). She was meant to be weird and egoistic,and she did it! Augusten(Joseph Cross) was kinda neutral for my taste, but Finch's younger daughter, Natalie(Evan Rachel Wood), was far more interesting. Maybe it's just me, cause I like her in general(Thirteen,True Blood,etc). Even Gwyneth Paltrow's role as Finch's older daughter was way too macabre and sick(which I'm not going to explain,cause you have to see it for yourself:P).Agnes Finch is the most amazing of them all, when it comes to evolving the character...So I've got pretty mixed up whether I liked the film or not...not very useful, innit?

See?This could be very well be a funny clip,but the emptiness of it can only make me think about how much trouble there is in their heads/hearts/whatever.
"Hope: You know Natalie, youre so oral, you'll never get to anal
Natalie: And youll never get a dick in your dried up cunt, you old maid!"
Don't we just love Natalie?

My so-called life - Blister in the sun

I think that pretty much sums up "me" today. I'm in love with the song. And I'm dancing to it,though I never dance. And I love Claire Danes and Jordan Catalano. I just like how he's always leaning. Against stuff. He leans great. I'll come back to this. Sure I will.

And since I started off with the music and all...

...I have to post this. I've been listening to it for almost an hour! I'd like to consider the guy who wrote it(Poirot) my friend. Well done George:)
Things to believe in are hard to find
But I've always had a dream that warmed my mind
Let me tell you - I'll tell you
About my secret future paradise
I'm prepared to take off whatever the price
Start a new life - I want to buy a house in Mexico

I sometimes feel I should just settle down
Forget about my plans and become that clown you all want me to
But this song goes out to the world's bellybutton
I'll soon be coming home with my cat-feather hat on
Receive me - I wanna buy a house in Mexico

Maybe I will hate the weather
But I'm sure I'll stay forever
In the house I'll build with heart and soul
Don't you know - in Mexico

Don't you wear now that face
You don't care and it shows
I'm not even in the first seven things that occupy your sweet mind
I'll go down to a place
That nobody knows
Just to find those special moments of peace and leave all issues behind
Down in Mexico

another (sunny) day?

Things are getting better. And I'm not going to talk about the guy I like for the past two years and who turned out to be gay. See? It's like I never mentioned it. I'm done with crying and all, our friendship is all that matters, innit? I mean I do need this. So, seriously now, being gay is not something anybody should be ashamed of. It's your choice and you have to support it. Which doesn't mean anything like "go ahead and tell everybody you know" but you get me. Plus, parents should respect things like that. They're still their children, they can't just make their lives a living hell. They've got rights. And parents' control should have some limits.
Anyway, I'm like falling in love with two things.My so-called life,this series with Claire Danes and Jared Leto,and Belle & Sebastian. Like that song:

Girls-Hellhole Ratrace

im sick and tired of the way that i feel,
im sick of dreaming and its never for real.
im all alone with my deep thoughts.
im all alone with my heartache and my good intentions.

i work to eat and drink and sleep just to live,
feels like im never getting back what i give.
ive got a sad song in my sweet heart.
and all i really am is needing some love and attention.

and i dont want to cry my whole life through,
i want to do some laughing too.
so come on, come on, come on, come on, laugh with me.
and i dont want to die without shaking up a thing or two,
yeah, i want to do some dancing too.
so come on, come on, come on, come on, dance with me.

sometimes youve just gotta make it for yourself.
sometimes sugar, it just takes someone else.
sometimes youve just gotta make it for yourself.
sometimes baby, you just need someone else.

and i dont want to cry my whole life through
i want to do some laughing too
so come on, come on, come on, come on, laugh with me.
and i dont want to die without shaking up a thing or two
yeah, i want to do some dancing too
so come on, come on, come on, come on, dance with me.

sometimes youve just gotta make it for yourself.
sometimes honey, it just takes someone else.
sometimes youve just gotta make it for yourself.
sometimes darling, you just need someone else.

and i dont want to cry my whole life through
i want to do some laughing too
so come on, come on, come on, come on, laugh with me.
and i dont want to die without shaking up a thing or two
yeah, i want to do some dancing too
so come on, come on, come on, come on, dance with me.

another sunny day.

Screw that. Life is shit, for real. Just when you think things have gotten better, life finds the perfect way to trick you again. You might think, it's alright, it's just another trick, just one out of the million, this is only one day out of my whole life. You might not care if your parents tell you that you're criticising them too harsh, but you're not,and they think you are. But there are people who do care. There are people who don't want to add their parents to their pile of miseries, and just want to discuss and not criticise.Cause, really, sometimes you wanna tell them, Hello, there's something bigger going on here, it's not only what you know, and even worse, what you think you know. What's that bigger thing going on? It's not like you have an easy answer for that, even if they ask you. But it's still there.
My brother writes poems. Really beautiful and sad poems, about a girl in his class. Damn,he didn't want to show the poems to us, his family, but he went and gave it to his class and his teachers. He took part in a poem and literature competition or something, without even telling us. Thank lord, my mum has those crazy ideas of messing up with our stuff and a tendency of searching them when we're not around. God knows how much I hate her when she does that. And she worked her magic once again, and found the poem and read it. And all she could say with tears on her eyes was "Could you ever imagine the little one had so much pain in his heart?" And yeah mum i can bloody imagine that. I've fucking been there,you've fucking been there and try to remember that and don't you dare say you have not. It's been three fucking years now I'm hiding that exact same pain. Haven't you noticed? It was only a year ago when you found my blog with my poems and my stories, my heartbroken stuff, and you made me delete it all. I wanna move on, but can't.

Careful there, you're treading on my dreams.

day 330

Day 330? Already? Nope. I am definitely not avoiding my challenge duties XD
As you can see, I update that thingy on the left,with all the titles and stuff. I just haven't found the time for the whole critic or something. Here,tomorrow is a national holiday. So it's not as if I have nothing else to do,but I just found a couple of minutes to do this. Enough of me blabbering about it.

#479 Zombieland
I did watch this right after Shaun of the dead... Which made me change my opinion on the worst movie ever subject. I found Zombieland so lame, and so overamericanised. If such word exists. So it just made me do the comparison between the two, and at least Shaun of the dead had some cool stuff in it. Zombieland was so based on that romance,and even zombies were disgusting. I mean,zombies are meant to be disgusting,but ... aaaarrrrgggghh I can't fucking explain this. Main actors: Emma Stone(the Easy A girl,I really really like her in general),Abigail Breslin(the Little Miss Sunshine girl,I like her too),Jesse Eisenberg(you know,the guy from Social Network-which I haven't seen:P-,or from Adventureland----am I the only one that confuses this guy with Michael Cera from Juno?I can't explain this!)

Now I've got like 6 movies left to review...  -_-'

I think I've fallen in love with Amsterdam :)

Yep, that's right! Been there for the past three days, and I enjoyed every single minute of it. I've decided that's the city I'd like to live in,but of course it comes after London... It's love, innit?
Random facts:
The Netherlands is often referred to as Holland,but Holland is the name of only two of its twelve provinces...Tricky huh?

Most of the land is lower than the sea level,that's why it's called the Netherlands...There are places around 6 metres below sea level!

Amstel beer got its name from the river Amstel:P

45% of the people who live in Amsterdam(or the whole country?) are atheists!

Dutch people are using bicycles more than every other country in the world. There even is a three level bike garage in the middle of the city! Truth be told, I wouldn't recognise my bike, if I was in their place.

There are "coffee shops" everyfuckingwhere! And by coffee shops, I do not mean normal cafeterias, I mean those tiny little psychedelic shops selling weed. And space cakes. Hell yeah.

Dutch guys can be really cool. Like really really cool. Like that guy, from the Amsterdam Hard Rock Cafe. Believe me, he was one hell of a guy. *blush* Imagine: Jackson Rathbone's eyes, piercings, cute and sexy at the same time. Ahhh I'd fall for that guy.

Dutch people are so willing to help tourists. Greeks would probably even start laughing at somebody who had taken the wrong tram but in greek,as he wouldnt understand them. Huge difference.

Do not let any other man to book the hotel you're staying in for you. Even if it is considered to be quite a good company or something. You might end up staying in a hotel so far from the centre, that it will not be on any map you buy. Yes, shit happens.

There is a kind of cheese made in Holland that is green. I didn't know about that! Go ahead and try it,it's delicious.

Do not trust completely books containing information about the place you're visiting. If you choose to go and eat to the restaurant the book is recomending, always have a second choice, or you might end up wandering around in the middle of the night. Live music programmes can be actually changed from sunday to saturday.Yep, that happened as well.

Rembrandt statue

Damplein

me and Guy Fawkes,V  :)

Live in Dam

View from the hotel

Amsterdam at night

Film institute

explaining things about the making of cheese

that green cheese i was talking about