Post Christmas Blues

Today was such a shitty day. It started off with me trying to wake up at 6am to study just a little bit more before my lesson at 9am, finally managed to wake up at 7.30. Mum cancelled my second lesson, and that was so nice of her cause I immediately went back to sleep. So it's 9am and I've got to concentrate on chemistry for two hours, but it's too early and I'm too tired and aaaah my head hurts so much. Chemistry lesson DONE and now maths. Seriously, fucking Maths. Exam thingy tomorrow on everything we've learned till now. Is it that difficult, you may ask,and the answer is yes. But it's been two days now and I feel sick,my stomach makes weird noises and it hurts all the time. And don't forget the headache(at least he doesn't forget me)! And then all I could do is watch youtube videos that would make me feel better-or not- just to take my mind off things. And then I finished Nausicaä of the valley of the wind which was pretty nice. And I listened to Glen Hansard and The Swell Season and rebloged pictures of cats on tumblr which is always nice and fun, but not productive and helpful. And the pain is still there god dammit. I don't know what I'm going to write tomorrow, I feel like I don't know nothing, I just keep repeating myself over and over again about feeling ill. I don't want to feel ill. I don't want to take those exams. I just want to stay in and sleep and read books. I don't want this year to be over cause when I look back, nothing really happened and I can't live knowing that I've wasted 17 years of my life doing nothing.
Make something happen, PLEASE.

Blogging is a thing that I used to do,isn't it?

How close am I to losing you?

all my friends are dead - pj liguori

I TOTALLY FORGOT TO STUDY TODAY

...and i'm not even kidding. I know there's something wrong with that sentence, it doesn't make sense, but still, it's true. For the first time, it was not procrastination, nope, i just forgot to study. It just totally slipped my mind. Studying? Not important, mate, not important. Who invented studying anyway?

By the way: today we were supposed to go on an excursion, but i didn't go to study instead. So i basically did most of the stuff i had to do during the morning. It's just such a surprise I spent such a nice evening of music and videos and awesome blog reading.

Here we go...

Alright, it's me complaining once again. This is going to be a long post and if you're not prepared to read my comments on people being awful, just don't read this.
First of all, there are boys my age(17-18) that obviously don't have brains in their heads. They lack common sense, and yes it's common sense that if you throw chalk pieces to some of your classmates you might actually hit other people too. And yes my eyebrow is THAT close to my eye. And yes, you might have hit me by accident, but I could have lost my eye just by accident you fool. So fuck off, cause even if you admitted you can't live without causing problems to the class, you'll have to breathe the same air with me 6 hours per day for the rest of the year. And trust me, I want both my eyes, it's not that I change them every now and then. And no, it's not that it's the first time this has happened, it's a common phenomenon, but it's the second day in the row that I'm being hit on the face near my eyes,and I'm not the only one, and our teachers have done nothing about it. Don't piss me off mate.
Second thing that got me extremely angry today was that old man chasing that dog with his stick to hit him. Why would anyone do that? We're supposed to live in a cultured society, cultured enough to have charities and organisations that help those of our own kind, but who are we to hit animals or express any other form of not showing respect to them? They are as alive as we are,they have minds and souls. They feel things. And under the same logic, why should I respect you old man, if you don't respect a helpless-more or less-creature? You know what? A dog has the right to want to fuck your dog or whatever, perhaps you yourself may have wanted to fuck someone at least once in your stupid little life, it's not a reason to theaten him you're going to kill him. He probably does not even understand why you're doing it, since your dog is not there with you at the time, and since he's lived right there for at least two years(that I've been passing outside that exact same building). And yes I did stop and talked to him, risking getting hit-he started shouting to me for absolutely no reason,telling me I'm stupid and that I don't understand,and that what he's doing with the dog is none of my business. Which brings me to my next point, that noone else passing by cared. NOONE CARES ABOUT ANYTHING THESE DAYS. What the hell is wrong with the world we live in? Why is that noone has the courage to speak up their minds? Or is it that they don't think at all? Noone cared about the dog(he was chasing him around the block-it was ridiculous), noone cared about me and the old man, noone cared when that motorcycle hit me, noone cared about what happened with that kid at school(except for his friend that saw what happened and told him he was wrong and then the other one told him something along the lines of:what the fuck you're supposed to be my friend, asshole), noone cares about anything. It just makes me angry and sad, but mostly angry.
Tell me just one thing: WHY?

Pen pals and youtube people.

Hey everyone. Who wants to be my pen pal? Like real pen pal,pen and paper and letters and stuff. Comment on here if you do.
It's just a thing I used to do when I was younger in order to ameliorer mon français. Mais je n'aime pas parler en français, and I never felt really close with my 3 french penpals so that stopped.(My parents didn't let me have an english penpal because they all liked Harry Potter and my parents thought it was absolute shit or something, a movie with monsters and goblins and freaky things. So i guess i missed a whole great era of penpals.) But. Now that I'm older, I respect that form of writing more, so I guess it's something I want to take up again. Plus,I'll have something to wait for me in the mail. *excited*
Also, who wants to be in a youtube collab channel? I was thinking kind of fiveawesomegirls or lovehatesociety. Perhaps lovehatesociety is more of a thing I'd be interested in. Leave me comments below!(if there's actually anybody on here TT_TT)
ALRIGHT?

5/12

So today there's that chemistry exam going on. And I don't understand lots of things. Aaaand I'm probably going to fail. That's it, being positive helps, it always does. Myl myl is not here. Come back here myl myl. I need you more than Cuba does... Fuck chemistry.

Alice vs tiny drunk story.

She was there with her friends, they were sitting at their favourite table at their favourite corner of their favourite pub. She was there for her friends, as much as they all were there for her. She had already drunk a couple of beers but she was not feeling dizzy, just a little more enthusiastic with things and a little bit confused on what she was supposed to do.
She reached for his hand. He was cold; her hand was warm against his. She felt the urge to hug him so bad, hold him tight and never let go. But that was not the right thing to do; they had set their rules and that would be highly inappropriate. Not from his side of course, he was gay, he was only seeing her as his friend, it made no difference to him. But she,oh she didn't know if she could keep herself together,hold back from kissing him and looking at him in a way no one had ever looked at him before, she just didn't know and she was not sure she wanted to find out.
She drank her beer at a gulp. Man, she really needed a cigarette at the moment. She didn't smoke, neither did he, but it matter. It was just one of those moments that what you don't need at all is what you need the most.
She grabbed her empty glass, stood up, and still holding his hand she led him to that other table,to the very first spot she saw him after two years of not seeing each other. Someone yelled 'What happened? Where are you going you two?' in the background. They got no answer. Now it was just them. She lit up her cigarette and breathed in the heavy flavoured  smoke. She put one hand on his neck, leaned in and gave him a long, tender kiss with a slight taste of beer and smoke.

1st day of december

You'll never guess what happened today. First of all, myl-myl got me the BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT that was ever known to mankind-i might be exaggerating a little bit,but it's just a little,tiny bit. She got me Stories from somewhere, Pj's cd(and by Pj i mean Pj Liguori aka kickthepj) and she completely surprised me,and oh god that was so awesome. I mean, the songs and the artwork(both by Pj and Maddy) are amazing, but man, she thought of it. How did she even...? Ah, love you myl-myl. Thanks for knowing how much this means to me. :D
The second part of unexpected things includes biology. I've reached whole new levels of procrastination. I started making videos(yes that less than 30" thing on youtube) and i wanted to make another one about pj's cd. Which was totally doable cause i've got so much to talk about. But i couldn't! I just couldn't! I filmed a 20 minute thing that had nothing to do with what i wanted it to be, so screw that. And then TA DAH! Damn, I found the solution! Studying biology would so obviously take my mind off video making. So that's what I did. And now you know, i'll never get anything done,i'll just keep switching projects.
Blogging is the only thing i never procrastinate about. Hm.
Tim, thanks for your birthday wishes, honestly thank you. Even if i had a crappy day.