Thursday, 5 April 2012


I will never see you again.

I. Will. Never. See. You. Again.

You didn't even care to let me know. Or was it you on the phone yesterday? Why did you use a fake name?

I would leave soon anyway, and I wanted you to go too, but I just had to know it- you had to give me 10' before you left to prepare myself for this and let go.

Now I realise that I probably misunderstood the fact that you wouldn't talk to me after that fight. You wanted it to be easy, you didn't want anyone to care, and us being close wouldn't allow that. But even like this, you had to let me know.

The past few days I've been meaning to call you. If only I actually had.

I'm still shaking all over. I cried a little. "Girl on the Sporting News" sounds like heaven. I'm going to ask you why.

From now on, for the first time in my life, I really don't know were we stand. We don't exist.

I don't exist.

People seem trivial into a world of nothingness. They keep going on with their lives, I can see them from my window. I feel so much and they feel so little. They don't know.

Today at school we read a poem about someone who would never come back. He had your name, no kidding. How ironic.

Yesterday I admitted I didn't like you anymore that way.

Three days ago, I cut off that wool bracelet I had been wearing for one year and a month, signifying our new friendship. I almost let you go. When you asked I didn't tell you what that bracelet meant. It was wrapped three times around my hand because when I made it, we had been friends again for three months.

I should have known there was something going on.






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